Recently (with a very loose definition of recently), I feel like a broken record when I talk about my life. It feels like it can be summed up with only a few words: tired, meetings, stress, research, start-up.
- I’m constantly tired. I had a blood test last week to check my iron levels, but I haven’t heard back from the doctor, which makes me think they’re normal. And that my exhaustion is because I’m worn out, not because of anything else.
- At least once a week I end up with a new meeting scheduled on my calendar. But it feels like closer to daily. I had this whole plan at the beginning of the semester, that I could stay home on Mondays and Thursdays to work. And I’ve rarely been able to follow through on that, because I end up with meetings pretty much every day of the week.
- I’m so stressed out. And it’s not being helped with the lack of exercise. During good times, I would get out and do something a minimum of four days a week. Right now, I can’t remember the last time I did anything. Which just makes me feel like a blob and unhealthy.
- My research stresses me out. Because even though the results we have might be okay (but not great), I feel like I’m continuing to run up against the same roadblocks I have for the past few years. And these are the same roadblocks I’ve talked to my supervisor about, who keeps brushing them off. Which is not helpful, and makes me worried that I’ll never have “good enough” results.
- The start-up stuff is at least moving forward. Except, I feel like we’re moving at maybe half speed. If even that. Which is different from how my team members feel. But it makes things difficult when you aren’t on the same page. And, because I’m already so stressed out and tired, at the end of the day, making it through each start-up event is absolutely draining. So I never feel like I’m improving.
Now, despite all of that, I know things aren’t terrible. I did manage to run my experiment. There looks to be some potential results that are publishable. I’ve still got a month to write up the paper, so I’m not time crunched (yet). And, like I said above, the start-up is progressing. So it could be moving even slower.
But, the exhaustion and stress need to change. And I know they’re linked heavily to my lack of exercise. So the first thing I need to do, is focus on getting exercise back into my life. Because I know if I’m exercising, I’ll be reducing stress. It’ll also provide some extra energy and help me sleep better, which should both help with my exhaustion.
Now I just need to follow through on this…