Feeling down

It’s been an odd week. I just haven’t been feeling “it” this week. Which is odd, because there have been lots of good moments throughout the week. And the winter Olympics are on (and Canada is doing awesome), so I get to spend my mornings watching what I missed while sleeping or catching some of the best moments live.

I haven’t had a good week when it comes to research. But that’s more because I haven’t been able to focus on it enough, then things actually going badly. It’s been a struggle to get anything done, so the total accumulated work is low.

On the other hand, I did a ton of work on our start-up this week. And I think it’s starting to all come together (yay). I’m really glad I did this work, because at least it means the whole week wasn’t “wasted.” And working on this project actually makes me feel kind of happy.

I don’t know why I’m feeling down. Well, not exactly true. I know what I’m thinking about, but I don’t know why I can’t just stop thinking about it. So that I can move on. And think about something happy. And hopefully focus on work.

I suppose I can be “comforted” by the fact that most grad students feel “overwhelmed, exhausted, hopeless, sad, or depressed nearly all the time”(Paying Graduate School’s Mental Toll). Ugh. Can’t this week just be over so I can start anew?

Oh, and this is the “best” list of tips for grad students. And I say that sarcastically mainly because of the first two points. In my experience, grad school has been a lot less about studying and cramming then it has been about research – which is very different. Studying and cramming is usually done for specific deadlines (like getting an assignment done or writing an exam). Research doesn’t have such tight deadlines (even counting paper deadlines – there’s always another, even if it’s a year away). Instead, you have to figure out how to stay motivated when things aren’t going well. I do agree with the remainder of the list, although none of the three will actually keep you or make you motivated to actually do work.

Anyway, what I need to do, is get back to climbing regularly. Because I’m sure the lack of exercise is not helping things. And just snap out of it, somehow.

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