Paper reading starts today

Why? Because if I announce it here, I’m much more likely to follow through and start reading papers. And I need to.

I have a backlog of papers. And reading those, will likely lead to a bigger backlog as I find others I should read. I need to figure out what I’m even doing this year, and looking at what others have done at least means I’m doing something.

I did contact my supervisor and so I have a meeting early this week. And I’d like to walk into the meeting knowing that I’ve tried to do something to prepare. I’m doubtful that I’ll have any concrete ideas walking in. But I don’t want to show up and say “I’ve done nothing – help me.” That’s not fair to him.

So I’m hoping that maybe something will spark an idea and I might have a direction we can start exploring.Worst case, I can at least walk in and say that I have been doing something. That I’m ready to get back to work. No longer burnt out*.

Also, reading papers will feel like I’m making measurable progress. At the end of a day, I can say that I’ve read x papers. And that I learned y. If I instead decided to sit down each day and think about “what can/should I do next” the days would be very long. And I’d get nothing done (or feel like that). Not that thinking isn’t hard work or that it’s not needed (it is) but I find it really hard to just say “okay brain – give me an idea.” And then it becomes stressful each day you don’t really have anything to show for it.

So. Paper reading. I think I’ll start easy and aim to get through just one today.

* Well, at least not as burnt out…

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